AMARCORD
(chestnut roasting over an esoteric Italian fire)
(foreign film NOT for the foreign film-challenged)

The following is a note to my friend after having dinner with him and telling him that I might have grown up enough to finally appreciate Fellini. I mean, after all, Satyricon was the first and only film that ever caused me to actually leave a theatre and throw up. Talk about a director’s work leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

I didn’t remember much about Amarcord (I saw it last in college), except the scene where the older woman smothers the young man with her huge breasts. Things like that tend to be especially memorable in films seen in college. Plus the Goddess is large-breasted her own self and had always heard fantasies to this effect muttered smuttily in h

Anyway, at dinner I told him that I’d been watching the first hour of Amarcord and to my happy surprise, I was liking seeing this film. It showed me that I had grown in my ability to appreciate.... And then I emailed him this.

Dear Friend of the Goddess (I have cleverly protected his identity here),

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say I've grown?

Watching Amarcord... When I spoke to you, I had seen only the first hour.

The second hour was pure hell.

Wait. Scratch that. I just realized that I’m only half way through the second hour. Help. Where's my pudding.

Oh. My. God. It will never end. Chinese water torture, Fellini-style.

I know every living critic loves his images. Si

I guess my temporary image of being urbane, witty and at one with all things Italia has hit the skids. Just as well. I couldn't afford it anyway. Best to be poor white trash. Cheaper. Course, I'm way too sober to get through the rest of this. So that adds a certain expense.

Maybe I'll even make this my review. Evidence of me going through my virulently anti-hip reviewing phase.

I glad Fellini’s movies exist. There are a bunch of rail-thin, chain-smoking, New York City artist guys who live to relive scenes from stuff like this. There are critics who set their clocks to it.

I’m glad I can watch something else. First hour was fun.

It’s over. Now that’s a truly great feeling.