HOWDY FILM LOVERS!

I’m the Film Goddess. Like all self-respecting goddesses, my title is self-proclaimed, completely accurate and music to mine ear. I encourage each of you out there to proclaim yourself goddesses of some thing, unless you are a straight man, in which case “your royal highness” should suffice.

Movies are my life. I need movies like Michael Jackson needs, well, who cares. I need um! Sex has to end early so there’s enough time for movies; you get the level of obsession? Don’t tell me my priorities are off! Besides, I can’t talk now. I’m in the middle of a great movie - have to get back to you. My movie addiction has led to the viewing in my goddess lifetime of well over 10,000 films and I am quite well-versed in all genres (except horror. Sorry horror fans, I ain’t your go -to gal for that genre. The sight of various body parts in the mirror after a shower fulfills the weekly horror quotient for this gal.).

And then comes the subject of first-run movies. Are you like me and you’ve found the bloom has come off that rose a little? Perhaps you don’t feel that taking the family to the newest Brady Bunch sequel should cost $150. after parking and corn all around. Or perhaps you are like me once again - and sitting in the dark with a bunch of strangers just isn’t quite as hip and cool as it used to be.

But what about going to the video store? Now you’ve got 10,000 titles and no clue! All the publicity is gone. Who helps you then? Huh?

I do, that’s who. It’s then that the Goddess will be your new best friend, your mentor, your ground support as you march purposefully in and demand the super-popular and esoteric titles of your dreams!

At this point, it’s all gravy. The store clerks will gasp at your vast taste and knowledge. Fellow patrons will be discreetly slipping you their phone numbers for coffee later. Soon you will become wildly popular and others will wait by the front to follow you into the store, asking for a copy of whatever movie you just asked for. You will begin to dictate film sales to the store and then the region... well, it’s the Film Goddess’ reality, after all. All is possible here!

Perhaps you don’t strive for such notoriety and fame, you’d just like some help on what to rent Saturday night. I’m here for you too!

My reviews are for both the film savvy (because, all joking aside, I am that) and the stupid (because, all joking aside, I am that too).

Translation: I may not tell you if a secondary lighting source is the reason for a magical scene’s ambiance, but I can alert you to the fact that taking out your trash would be of a greater entertainment value than the film you are currently considering!

Besides, if you’re as slow at returning videos as I am (leading to at least a couple of late fee dollars every time), I can save you the cost of membership with just two movies headed off at the pass!

If you join us, you will receive an email notice every two weeks about six new reviews available to you on site. Along with a dozen new reviews each month, you will have access to the library of many others, as well as films listed and reviewed in creative categories.

So stay tuned and the happiest of viewing, my friends!
Film Goddess