FILM GODDESS E-NEWSLETTER

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JOIN NOW & RECEIVE SIX ADDITIONAL ISSUES AND

THE 1ST ANNUAL "SUCKY MOVIE MARATHON" ISSUE

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Every half month (see how I’m getting out of those pesky extra weeks that sneak up on you every year!) you will be receiving an email telling you that the newest newsletter has arrived. At which point, you will undoubtedly be breathless with excitement and will rush to the Film Goddess.com site and use your special member password to access the film library, where you can download the new issue as well as looking up every other title listed. From there, you may download them all to your heart’s content or simply hang out, read, maybe have a chuckle or two. As a member, the site is yours for the searching.

Each issue will have six new reviews of video titles available at your local video store (within reason. if your video store doubles as a bait and tackle shop, I ain’t making no promises), in addition to a special feature. The special feature will either be an exclusive interview with someone involved in the film making process or a listing of several films in each of my specialty categories, listed and described below.

Become a member for a year for the nominal fee of $24. Then all that’s left is to read, rent some videos and let me know how you’re enjoying any of the suggestions!

Additional note: If you do have some fun with this, as is my fervent hope, let your friends know about it. If they mention your name when enrolling, you will automatically have one month, or two newsletters, added to your membership. Hook up 12 friends? You’ll get a full free year! 8,000 friends? You’ll be getting it longer than I’ll be writing it!



SPECIALTY CATEGORY DESCRIPTIONS

LIQUID SEX:

I’d like to define a liquid sex film with three examples.

If the Goddess clutches her remote immediately following a kiss/love scene, rewinds and plays it again - just for journalistic clarification, mind you - and then maybe plays it one more time - just to be sure, of course, then it’s a film with some liquid sex in it.

Secondly, the liquid sex accolade is placed upon a film because an actor or actress is just plain liquid sex all the way through it. They simply can’t help themselves. Think Antonio Banderas and/or Selma Hyack in Desperado. In that case, you’ve got yourself a liquid sex film. In the case of Desperado, you might even say that you’ve got yourself a liquid sex marathon!

Then there’s the third and final quality for this category. It’s when the romantic couple in said film really makes us believe that they desperately want to melt hot wax all over each other. Oh. Excuse me. I meant they demonstrate a certain rapport. Rapport was what I was discussing. There is evidence of some righteous heat.

The most amusing thing about this last item of sexual rapport is that I don’t really think actors can fake this. Reality rears its ugly head somewhere in there. Oh, sure, you can have some all-star liquid sex zenmaster like Richard Gere, for instance. And he could probably generate enough heat tongue kissing a basketball for the basketball to look hot to each and every one of us, but it wouldn’t make my list. It’s not enough to see the heat, you have to be able to see that it finds its target in the costar’s hungry eyes.

And that, my fellow passive voyeurs, is what the liquid sex film category is all about. I’m very happy with this little category, as I feel that most of us want to know which ones are the liquid sex films, yet no self-respecting reviewer could or would describe a movie in such terms. Ah, but a self-respecting Goddess would!

FOREIGN FILMS
FOR THE FOREIGN FILM CHALLENGED:

If you are one of the foreign film challenged, stand tall. I am you. Actually, in American films, you would probably say I’m like you. But we’re in foreign film territory here, so they would say I am you. Keep up.

I’m not going to suggest films to you that are the cinematic equivalent of Beowulf. No friends, I mean only happiness and healing here. I won’t give you the films where indolent Europeans stare at each other endlessly, where you quickly move from hating subtitles to wishing one would appear and offer some clue as to the morass you are slowly sinking into...

I’ll give you lively, sexy, fun, beautiful, profound films
- the kind that transcend the subtitles.

The reason, in the end, to add some foreign films to your expanding film diet is the same reason to travel. Enough with your own perspective and angle on life, get someone else’s. Don’t worry if you don’t catch it all. Catch the spirit of it and you’ll have the main portion.

Foreign films are heavy and rich in spirit. They don’t have quite enough strip malls and Gap stores in many of those countries to have had their spirit numbed out of them. And that, my friends, is reason enough to enjoy. So consider renting some of my choices here and spend some time drinking up some life with Europeans. I don’t even know you and I know you’ve had worse impulses!



DOCUMENTARIES:

If you like documentaries, you’ll enjoy this category. If you don’t, sorry, my fetish. I don’t have that many things in life that I think the if-I-had-it-to-do-all-over-again type of thoughts, but one of them is being more closely involved in documentaries.

Consider what it takes to make a good documentary. Those things can make a great film. A good documentary generally views things from more than one angle. Most fictional film storytelling doesn’t accomplish this. A good documentary takes you on a ride, dropping you off a considerable distance from where you got on. Fictional films can only pray that you’ll feel that way. And usually, for me, a good documentary takes you somewhere you would never otherwise be - standing within it, peeking at it, gaining perspective into it.

I think a great work of fiction can be pure gold, but a great documentary can be platinum. If you aren’t drawn to them, no crime. But the ones I mention to you ought to entice you and hold your attention - even if you just want to dip your toe into this pool.

THE GODDESS’ CELESTIAL LIBRARY:

This will be a marking on my very favorite films of all time. I will try to throw some of those in rather regularly. And I also promise they won’t all be artistic masterpieces that you haven’t seen. Oh, some will be there, but so will Support Your Local Sheriff. You catch my drift?

So let’s have some fun. Let’s watch some movies!